Kids are fond of asking questions. They ask whenever they feel like it, or if there is something that is bothering them. Therefore, if you are a divorcee and currently dating, your kid would sense this. Kids are very intelligent and they could tell if you are dating. If your concern is about "How do I explain my romantic affair to my kids?" I have the solution.
The way you explain things to them must be age-appropriate. If they are just 4 years old, you do not tell them about dating. You may tell them that this person is a friend, and you enjoy their company. This kind of answer may also be appropriate for kids 5-10 years age. Once they have reached the age of 11, you need to update your lines.
Children nowadays are more exposed to the mechanics of relationship, unlike the previous generations. Kids can easily watch television shows that present young adults in a romantic relationship. You might have noticed this in your television guide or the teasers that you see on tv. Yes, kids today are more informed compared to how we were years back.
The downside is the television itself. It is not a good idea to allow the tv to be their love guru. You must stand as their model and teacher in this aspect of their lives. You have to educate them about respect towards their partner, since this is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Do not sneak. You are no longer a teenager who is trying to hide from your parents. You already have kids. You already have a responsibility. If you do not want your kids to sneak on you, you should be a model. If your love interest visits home, give your kids an introduction. Introduce your kids to your partner too, before they even meet your family.
Tell your kids that you are interested with this person. Since you like them, you would like your kids' approval because their opinion matters to you. If they get to hear that their feedback is valuable, they would be willing to meet your friend. Since you told them that their opinions do matter, you have to live up to what you have said.
I think it would be best for parties, your kids and your date, to meet-up in a restaurant. At least, this would be a new territory for both of them. Your date would not feel too overwhelmed, and your kids would not be tempted to pull-off something that might not be appealing.
Let's go back to introducing your kids to your date. When you do this, you are also preparing your love interest to what kind of conversation they should have with your kids. If they know your kids' interests it might be easier for him/her to communicate. Also, it puts them at ease. On the side of your children, they will feel that you actually value their inputs because you have introduced them to your date, prior to the actual meet-up.
The place where your family and your date would have a dinner should not be too formal. Places that are posh or formal are usually quiet. People might shush you if you try to talk all at the same time. Moreover, since the place is quiet, the mood might also be affected by the environment. How would you talk if you are worried that you are making too much noise?
Gradual introduction is one of the best ways to tell your kids about your new romantic affair. Do not surprise them. Tell them as early as you could. Moreover, assure them that this person would not replace their mom or dad. Tell them that your ex will still remain their parent.
