Self-esteem is a Habit
Consider this story:
One evening sitting around the fire, the grandson of an old and wise Cherokee chief asked his grandfather, "Why is life so unhappy Grandad?"
The wise old chief thought for a moment, and then asked, "Can you hear the wolves that are howling in the distance son?"
"Yes I can Grandad," replied the boy.
"Have you noticed how some of the wolves are angry and aggressive and some are gentle and friendly?"
"Yes I have Grandad," replied the boy, "I like the baby wolf with the stripes who follows me when I go hunting."
"Well, we have two wolves inside us also," replied his grandfather.
"One leads us to misery and unhappiness. It sows the seeds of anger, envy, jealousy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and ego.
The other leads us to happiness. It sows the seeds of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson was quiet for a while and then asked: "Which wolf wins Grandad?"
The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."
Happy people are not happy just because they happened to be born under a lucky star or because they inherited a “happiness gene”. Happy people are happy because of practice. “Practice makes perfect”. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? You practiced. How did you learn to speak a foreign language? You practice. How did you learn to swim? You practiced. Some people need more practice, others need less. However, nobody learns something immediately, everyone needs to practice.
Consider a person who has the habit of running 5 kilometers every morning and a person who never does any physical exercise. Which person would find it easier to run a marathon? Similarly, consider a person who writes about positive things that she accomplished during the day every day before she goes to sleep and a person who has never tried to think positively about herself. Which of these people would find it easier to pass a job interview in which they are asked to talk about why they deserve to get the job?
Thinking positively about oneself is a habit like every other skill in life. The good thing about this is that everyone can learn it. The bad thing about it is that it takes time and energy just like it does to develop any other new habit.
If you want tools for how to build up a habit of high self-esteem, visit
Liv Miyagawa– The Self-Esteem Coach
